According to CNN... Part 1

Enjoy this first post in a list of many that will be based on stories that CNN Reported.


Apparently according to CNN, new car smell is toxic. And Teflon, that great product that makes it possible for me to burn the hell out of food and then not have to scrub it for hours after causes cancer.

First, scientist, let me say thanks for looking out for all of us. Second, screw you. Lie to me you bastards. New car smell works. Now you have to tell me it's because less Oxygen is getting to my brain. Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, my brain gets too much oxygen as it is.

And Teflon causing cancer... You know what, don't start knocking down ideas until you have an alternative. Come up with a great "other" Teflon and I will listen to you. Otherwise stop trying to help me.

Science, you officially have 1 week to tell me that Doritos cure childhood leukemia. What are you waiting for science, go do it!