Monday, October 30, 2006

I didn't have to go to bed this time!

When I was 6 and living with my grandmother and mother I was the subject of cruel and unusual punishment. I was forced to go to bed immediately before the start of the Muppet Show. What? The show meant for kids and I had to go to bed. I was pissed.

As I grew older I was eventually able to stay up and watch and I loved it. So many dynamic and hilarious characters. The Muppets were and are amazing. Whether you are talking about the huge heart and little body of Kermit the Frog or the tragic comedy stylings of Fozie Bear you have to admit they are great characters. And they are so real, so life like.

Well guess what I did today. I directed a shoot with a real life Muppet puppeteer. While technically the puppet in this shoot was not a full on Muppet, it was damn close. I. Dustin D'Addato got to call the shots on a Muppet. I was not disappointed. The little guy was everything I hoped it would be. I should be posting it on the web in the next month or so. Until then I just wanted to brag that today I got to hang out with a puppet and got paid for it.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

We Must Protect The Children

There is a terrible threat facing out children today. It's not drugs or gangs or the return of communism. It a PBS show called Boobah.

Okay, so maybe it is kind of drugs because this show is the most tripped out thing I have ever seen in my life. Look, I know this show is for kids, but come on man.

The basic idea of the show, as far as I can see, there are several creatures that are actually balls of light that only have a round body and eyes. They can't talk. They can only move their eyes back and forth in a very shady fashion. They spend 90% of the episode dancing around in a rhythmic fashion. They can fly. Their whole world consists of brightly colored rainbows and white energy areas.

As I suspected I am not doing a very good job explaining it. Here is the website You tell me what's going on that website. Once you click past the home page, there are no words. It's just craziness. And if you live in NY, you can check it out every morning on wliw (Channel 21 on Time Warner) at 8 am.

This show is going to really mess with kids. It's messing with me. I'm watching it right now and they have a little girl standing on a rainbow circle on a golf course looking down and then standing up over and over again for like two minutes. There is no redeeming quality to this show. I am 100% certain this is children's programming brought to you by the producers of High Times.

Watch it and let's discuss.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Saving Money Is Hard

Do you have any idea how hard it is to save money in this city? You probably do. I mean, when you are paying $5 for a coffee and $10.50 for a movie you know that money is just flying out the door for no reason.

The reason I bring this up is because I've found out today how often people try to scam you. I purchased something over the internet today and they totally lied to me. They added costs they didn't tell me about at first. They told me something cost $125 bucks when I know full well that is should only cost $35. I thought I was going to get a good deal, but instead I just got pissed off.

I'm not mister consumerism and I hate to defend big business, but I am getting a better understanding of why big companies get big. After I told the website to go screw I checked in on a big companies website and they had the same thing, with a long warranty and free delivery for only a few bucks more.

As much as it sucks, Starbucks coffee is really good. The seats at the $10.50 movie are very comfortable and the big chain actually deserves to be a big chain. All those things may be the reason that other countries hate us and why a lot of people here hate us, but they are also why America is so fun. And I like fun.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Happy Birthday To My Lady

Today is Joy's (my girlfriend) birthday. If you see her please wish her a happy birthday. I felt it only right to spend some time talking about her.

For those of you who don't know her, she's pretty cool. She's one of the most supportive people in the world. She is always looking to make sure everyone is happy. I seriously recommend her, but you can't have her she's mine.

It's been my experience that you meet a lot of people in life who want something from you. People who are only looking out for themselves. When they see good things happen to others they get jealous or bitter. Joy couldn't be any less like that. She gets excited for others when good things happen for them. She's always trying to do whatever she can to help people achieve whatever they are seeking.

She's got an amazing curiosity for other cultures and other places. She has no fear of putting on a backpack and going to another country all by herself and just playing by ear.

And best of all, she's silly. She makes me laugh.

She'll deny it, but she's one of the best people I know. Anyone who knows her falls in love with her pretty quickly. Forget what I said before, if you see her, do more than wish her a happy birthday, make sure she has a happy birthday. Give her a hug. Or come chocolate. Or Ice Cream.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Watch Out For Stationary Objects

Yesterday I full on walked into a pole. It was one of the scaffolding poles. It was dark. I was talking. I just didn't see it. I have a small bump on my head now and a messed up collar bone.

Lately I have found that I walk into a lot of stuff. Often hurting myself. I estimate that I hurt myself by being a dumbass about once every four weeks. Which is an increase of this time five years ago. At my current rate of dumbass injury I should be in a wheelchair by the time I am 38 and completely paralyzed by the time I am 65.

Why am I sharing this information with the world. Because wheelchairs are very expensive, as is taking care of a person who is paralyzed. Rather than having a big fundraiser later on, I thought it would be easier if everyone just saved 25 cents a day for my wheelchair fund.

Seriously, this is going to happen people and I would be really helpful if I could get one of those really cool electric wheelchairs. Like this one...

(p.s. if there is an optional grenade launcher option I would really appreciate that also.)

Friday, October 06, 2006

Come See Me Tonight - if you're not a communist

So if you haven't seen me perform in a while or not at all or just want to see me again, you are going to have two great chances in the next week.

Tonight I will be doing a 25 minutes set at the P.I.T. on a show called Comedy is for Humans. Here are the details for the show:

Comedy Is For Humans
(TONIGHT) Friday, October 6th @ 8pm
The Peoples Improv Theater
154 West 29th st.
New York, NY

Next Wednesday I'm hosting my show "People I Like...". We've got some awesome stand ups coming to the show as well as a bunch of special guests for the show. Here are the details for that show:

People I Like...
Wednesday October 11th @ 8 pm
505 12 Street (between Ave A & B)
New York, NY

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I'll Miss You Stealing Bartender

I found out that the bartender at one of the venues I go to a lot was fired a few weeks ago. Apparently he had been giving people less change then he was suppose to and then keeping the extra. I guess if you want to be a stickler for morals, then what he did is wrong. But he gave me free sodas. I know that doesn't sound like much of anything but I really like soda. I like it more when it's free. We had our little thing. I would only ever order soda. I would always offer to pay and he would always say no. Then I would tip him a dollar. We would chat about what comics he liked and who sucked.

He was a cool dude, except for the stealing (but who doesn't steal sometimes. I could tell you stories, trust me). I will miss him. That's it. No jokes.

It's just interesting how people come in and out of your life and you never even realize it. I mean there are the big ones that you realize. The exgirlfriends and boyfriends. The good friends you moved away from or grew apart from. But there are plenty of smaller "bit" players in your life who just come and go. In a year or two I might not even remember who the hell I am talking about right now. I'm not saying that this a bad thing or a good thing, just that it's interesting.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

When You Just Can't Eat

When you just don't have time to grab a regular meal here are some suggestions:

Skittles: They are very filling. You can go another two hours off a bag of skittles and if you eat only a few at a time they can last a while. But don't get tropical fruit. That's not a meal.

Doritos - The are even more filling then Skittles and more tasty. Problem is, you're hands get all orange. However, orange is one of the main food groups, so it provides calcium or protein or something.

Gummy Candy (preferably the soda bottle kind) - While not full on filling, if you ear enough they can give you "stomach issues". That solves all your hunger needs.