Don't be a douche. Even if you can afford it, don't get your wife or husband a car for Christmas.
You see, it's not all about you Mr. Fancy Car man. You get the big hug and kiss and John Q Not-a-douche looks like a Scrooge McDuck over here simply because he hasn't dropped 30 grand on Christmas. Where do you go from car, huh? House? Organ? Child? That's setting the bar pretty high for the rest of us, don't you think.
Seriously. Don't. I'm serious. You're sensitive and have a ponytail, don't you. I hate you so much.
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