From time to time I like to answer some reader mail. Tonight's letter comes from Judy Kramer from Sunnyside Queens. It reads, "Dear Dustin, I really like reading your blog. Sometimes I read it when I'm, you know...alone. Anyway, sometimes I get you and Slash from Guns N' Roses confused. I am sure that I am not the only one. Could you help me out with that. By the way, notice that I said Slash from GNR and not Velvet Revolver, because that is such bullshit. Anyway, I love you. Is that weird, for me to tell you that I love you? Okay. Have a good day. (I'm watching you! Just kidding...maybe) Sincerely, Judy."
Well Judy. I appreciate your letter. Believe me, I get this letter all the time. So once and for all I will clear this up so it doesn't happen again. Here are a few differences, although there may be more.
Guitar
I can't play guitar. Okay, I can play the first few seconds of Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits on the acoustic. Slash on the other hands kicks ass.
Hat
Slash wears a top hat all the time, including the shower and when he is doing, but not in church. Slash is very respectful of the lord. On the other hand, I never wear a hat all, except in church, where I wear a top hat because I think the lord likes it when I am formal.
Shirt
I wear a lot of shirts. Like every day. I have a bunch. Some I wear all the time. Some that are dry clean only. Slash doesn't own any shirts at all. No matter how cold it gets, Slash never wears a shirt
Vodka
My circulatory system uses blood. Slash, well....
Sketch Comedy
Slash is a really shitty sketch comedy writer. I on the hand am mediocre. But honestly people, Slash is just terrible. Everything he writes is so obvious. And like, how many game show parody sketches can one guy write. "Guess The Bacteria"? It had a few funny lines, but it would never have worked.
Those are just a few of the difference. I will try to think of more, but please write in if you have other questions.
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